So you’ve got their number - now what?

The first call
Making the first phone call is not as stressful as it seems. You’ve both come to like each other and now you have the O.K. by your date. Chatting in real life will give you a general idea of what he or she is like.

When to call
Don’t be put off by finding the right time to call and avoid playing games at this stage. If you’ve got your date’s number, call them up for a chat. Keep in mind that “reasonable” hours for phone chats are between 9am and 9pm and try to avoid drunk dialling.

What to say
If you’re not too sure of what you’re going to say, have a few conversation starters in mind. After exchanging pleasantries extend an invitation to your date. Just say something simple like “Would you like to go to dinner, there’s a new restaurant in my neighbourhood that’s getting great reviews?”. Leave the date open, so you can gauge their interest. If they respond with ‘How about Friday?’, you should be pretty pleased with yourself…

Getting the beep
If the call goes through to voicemail you have two option. Firstly, hang up and try them again later. Secondly, leave a message. If you are going for the latter, be prepared to get the beep. Don’t ask them out on a date via message and don’t jabber on. Simply leave your name and number and ask them to return your call.

The follow-up call
If your date has shown interest in a second date then all you need to do is make the call. But there’s a fine line between calling too early and calling too late in dating. Calling too early gives off the impression that you are desperate and calling too late makes you seem uninterested. A good time frame is within three days.

What to say
Under no circumstances should you begin making plans for future events such as birthdays or even Christmas after your first date. Keep the comments relevant and stick to things like “I had such a nice time on our date”. Then tell your date that you would enjoy catching up again. Don’t over-think it and just keep it simple.

Call and call alike
While some rules in dating sound ridiculous, others are just plain commonsense. When it comes to making phone calls, make sure that you are calling them as much as they are calling you. Keep it equal between the two of you to avoid making the impression that you’re clingy or worse, stalker-ish. Let’s call this the ‘call and call alike’ rule.
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Don’t ever let me see you…

Brush your hair.
Gross! Hair falls out and can go into food and drinks, or on your date, or you might cover them in ’snow’ from a dandruff blizzard. Don’t do it.

Pick your teeth.
If you feel you have something stuck in your teeth, head to the bathroom before you start digging around in there. And please don’t use cutlery, chopsticks or keys (yes, really) to gouge food remnants out of your mouth. You beast.

Pluck or tweeze.
Er, the beauty salon closed at 5. There is absolutely no excuse for taking care of this business in public.

Eat your earwax.
I know what you’re thinking. If it’s good enough for the Prime Minister, it’s good enough for me. But honestly, picking your ears is a nasty habit you should refrain from - especially in public. Eating your pickings takes gross to a whole new level.

Pick your zits.
This one is disgusting beyond belief and yet, I have spent a sad, lonely hour sitting across the table from a charisma-free, self-obsessed date who did nothing by forage around his forehead picking his mini Mt Vesuvius. Gross beyond words.

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Things may seem hard, but there is only one way to get over someone and that is to get over them.

Here are a few tips to mending your broken heart to help you get back into the dating scene.

Take your time
Give yourself time to heal and don’t jump straight into something. Instead, spend time with your close friends to help take you mind off things. The first week post-breakup should be spent with a close friend, drinking more than you know you should, bawling like a banshee and not giving a damn what anyone thinks,’ Paula, 24.

Banish the ex
Don’t let craziness get the better of you. Texting, leaving notes on their car or walking past their work in hope that you will accidentally bump into them are all signs of being a stalker and this will only make things worse. Instead, cut all ties off and stay away. The less you see him or her the less you will think about them.

Be kind to yourself
You’ve just been through a rough time, so treat yourself to something special. Buy a new outfit, get a massage or even take a weekend away with some mates, to help get your mind off things.

Wait and see
If you stumble across a new love interest, don’t be fooled into thinking that he or she is Mr. Right. While you may think that they are fantastic because they are the complete opposite of your ex, keep in mind that they have their quirks and faults too.

Fess up
Once you get into the swing of dating again, leave all the details of your ex behind and definitely don’t bring them out at dinner. Ranting on about your ex’s bad habits and intimate details will only reflect badly on you. Simply leave it at ‘it was a tough break up and I’m still a little fragile’.

Don’t over-share
While a sympathetic ear is always attractive after a recent break up, don’t turn it into a borderline counseling session. Yes you may be a little emotional and the feelings that you are having may be overwhelming, but don’t make your date sit through My Feelings volumes one, two and three.

It takes time to get back into the swing of dating and while the road to love is scattered with tears and tissues, just remember that your strength, determination (and sense of humour) will get you through it all.

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Need help with your dating profile? See The Real Me

Check out these tips to make sure you aren’t bringing your new relationship to an early end. Keep them in mind next time you meet someone you really like.

Stick to the once a week rule
Let things happen over time. There’s no point forcing your date to see you, this will only come across as desperate. Stay cool and calm to give your relationship a better chance.

Don’t smother
There’s one important rule when calling, texting or emailing your new friend - ‘don’t contact them more than they contact you’. Too much contact too soon may come off as frightening, just let things happen naturally!

See other people
It’s exciting when you find someone that you really want to spend time with, but in the first few weeks you have to be patient. Instead of pestering your date, call a friend and go for coffee. Your friends can help to keep you grounded and may have some great advice to help you out.

Do ‘stuff’
Keep yourself occupied to help take your mind off him or her every now and then. Staying at home will surely breed all types of weird thoughts that may end up getting you into trouble. Doing different hobbies and activities will give you something interesting to talk about when you next see your date.

Enlist a friend
So you’re on a high after your date and really just want to tell them how much you enjoyed your night. Although the five-minutes-later text message may seem like a cute way to let them know you enjoyed yourself, it’s not. Call up a trusted friend and share your enthusiasm with them.

Reality check
Are you the type of person that likes the idea of falling in love? If you find yourself head-over-heels after most dates then it’s time to take a step back and ask yourself what is it about this person that I really like? This will help you to tone it down and really get in touch with your feelings.

Need help with your dating profile? See The Real Me

Need help with your dating profile? See The Real Me

Need help with your dating profile? See The Real Me

Need help with your dating profile? See The Real Me